மார்ச்சு 25, 2023 இதழ்
தமிழ் வார இதழ்

But I don’t know when it is the best thing, I’m scared perhaps not

வழக்கறிஞர் ராஜாசுந்தர் ராமன்

Mar 28, 2024

“My entire life constantly checked instead insignificant, instead superior incidents, except that my relationship therefore the delivery of your own college students. Alternatively, from the time We occurred to begin with keeping a diary, We appear to have discovered that a phrase otherwise an enthusiastic intonation will likely be just as important, or even more, compared to issues we are familiar with think extremely important. ”

Whenever we is learn how to understand the minuscule issues that happen each day, up coming possibly we could discover ways to it is understand the wonders meaning out-of life

From inside the November 1950 40 –three-year-old Valeria Cossati purchases a black colored notebook out of a beneficial tobacconist – good “forbidden” item since the tobacco is not permitted to sell far from tobacco to his consumers. Their diary records provide us with a windows to the Valeria’s domestic, their particular family relations, and you will Valeria herself just like the reported along the next six months. Valeria’s lives revolves around their own family – their own husband Michele, and her two grown up youngsters Riccardo and you can Mirella. Economically he is delivering by but are perhaps not well-of. Valeria isn’t only a homemaker and in addition operates to supplement their unique husband’s income- a fact that try frowned-upon of the her own mom whoever nearest and dearest is inspired by a lot more affluent roots. Valeria try swept up from inside the a traditional relationships even with their unique acquiring the liberty to be hired. The woman is conflicted however, unable to express their true attitude, truthfully so long as it could break the newest painful and sensitive equilibrium she’s founded in her own family relations with greater regularity not from the prices of stifling her own desires and you can wishes.

“We normally have a desire to confide when you look at the a living individual, not just in so it laptop computer. But I have not ever been in a position to. Stronger than the desire so you’re able to confide is the fear of ruining something I’ve been developing every day, to possess 20 years, the only thing We have.”

She including offers their unique improving friendship which have a colleague, a relationship that does not feature an effective preconceived gang of criterion, as opposed to every their own most other matchmaking

Valeria is actually stressed and you will ate by feelings from guilt and you may anxieties you to definitely her wonders journal could well be discover. Many times during her log she offers how tough it’s having their particular to hide so it log and just how she keeps changing where she has they. She yearns getting a good “space” one she will be able to label her own – their unique rooms is actually occupied from the her spouse who uses date paying attention in order to tunes or reading in their free time, their particular pupils possess her bed room and you will she is left to help you establish their own records in the evening immediately after people are sleeping during the lingering fear of getting located.

“Because when We write-in so it notebook, I feel I am committing a significant sin, an effective sacrilege: it’s as if We was in fact speaking with the latest demon. Beginning it, my personal hand tremble; I’m afraid. We understand the white pages, the new thicker synchronous contours willing to receive the chronicle away from my upcoming days, plus prior to You will find lived them, I am distressed. I’m sure you to my personal reactions towards the facts We write-down in detail head me to discover me significantly more thoroughly daily. Perhaps there are people that, understanding on their own, have the ability to boost; nevertheless the ideal I know myself, the greater missing I become.”

Valeria’s “forbidden” computer, turns out to be a store having their unique extremely individual opinion, a place she will be able to vent their frustrations, fury, and you can dissatisfaction on their unique relationships, their unique husband, their pupils and you can lives in general. Valeria’s record gives their unique a vocals therefore the possibility to end up being by herself and you can understand herself even if she is incapable of display the same having people. Valeria problems given that she shows on her behalf wedding and you may tries to hold onto the costs and you may beliefs she’s followed all of the their particular lifestyle. She is not able to reconcile to your method their children, their own child specifically chooses to direct her. Their unique husband characteristics their problems which have Marilla so you can “maternal jealousy” which provides your an idea of just how marginalized Valeria is during her own house.


வழக்கறிஞர் ராஜாசுந்தர் ராமன்

இவரது மற்ற கட்டுரைகளைக் காண இங்கே சொடுக்குங்கள்.

கருத்துக்கள் பதிவாகவில்லை- “But I don’t know when it is the best thing, I’m scared perhaps not”

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